Metadata
 
Ben A.
Ben H.
Doug
Later
     
 
The Mother of All Short-Squeezes

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has proposed a bold initiative to stem the recent fall in his country's stock market.

“If we were permitted to hang two or three persons, the problems with the stock exchange would be solved for ever," he reportedly told a Teheran newspaper.

Sort of makes worrying about losing your stock borrow seem rather petty.

I have to say, Ahmedinejad is proving a strong challenger to Hugo Chavez in the "World's Looniest Quasi-Elected National Leader" race. [Ben H.: 10/31/05 22:23]
 
 
You Read the Wrong NYT Article, Ben H

But luckily, others did not
[Ben A.: 10/31/05 02:31]
   
 
Pension crisis and rarity of annuitization

I broke my rule about reading the New York Times Magazine, because, after all, who can resist reading a Maureen Dowd cultural analysis. You can bet it will deliver fresh insights -- for example, that Generalissimo Franco is still dead.

Actually, I broke the rule because I saw that Roger Lowenstein -- the author of the definitive account of the LTCM blow-up -- contributed a piece on the "pension crisis." It's a good overview of the issue, and I recommend it. One bone to pick, though. Lowenstein outlines some of the shortcomings of defined-contribution plans relative to defined benefit plans, one of which is that a retiree in a defined-contribution plan needs to take affirmative steps to turn his lump sum at retirement into a reliable stream of payments. He notes that few retirees carry out this "annuitization." Lowenstein, however, overlooks the most important reason for the failure to annuitize -- and its connection to the instability of defined benefit plans: life extension risk.

Yes, the real problem is how to deal with *life extension risk*. The insurance company (or other annuity payor) makes an assumption about the mortality curve, but that assumption can turn out to be off the mark. If realized mortality lags estimated mortality, the annuity payor can wind up out of business and the annuity purchaser out of luck. The problem with life extension risk is that it is not obviously diversifiable -- therefore to underwrite it the annuity payor should demand a hefty risk premium. That risk premium makes buying an annuity less than enticing.

Traditional pension plans and the government both already bear substantial life extension risk. Think about what will happen to pension fund deficits and social security actuarial deficits if life expectancy unexpectedly by, say, 2 years. Disaster. The private annuity market therefore cannot look to the government or the corporate sector to underwrite life extension risk. In fact, that companies are shedding traditional pension plans is, in part, because they do not want to bear life extension risk. What about private markets? One natural buyer of life extension risk would be life insurance providers. They make money if life expectancies go up. However, the aggregate life extension risk embedded in term life insurance policies is tiny -- partly due to the relative size of LE policies relative to pensions and partly due to the design of typical term life policies*. It is difficult to see where the natural buyer of life extension risk will come from. Typically, facing a systemic risk, the financial engineer looks for a "natural hedge." You want to hedge the risk of oil prices going up? Talk to the oil producers. But it is not apparent that there is a natural hedge for life extension risk. Those extra years of geezerhood do not correlate with additional productivity. The main benefit would appeat to be hedonic -- most people want to live longer. Yet the idea of old people buying insurance against early death for their own benefit is absurd on its face. A payout for your corpse doesn't compensate you for becoming a corpse!

It has crossed my mind that perhaps it would be worthwhile to try to start up a speculative market in life extension risk**. Maybe punters would be willing to take on a certain amount of this risk at a price below that currently embedded in annuities?

* Life insurers generally do not irrevocably commit to charging a particular premium over the duration of a term policy. The insurer cannot raise the rate on a particular policy selectively, for sure. However, if mortality rates deviate from expectation, the insurer can petition regulators for a rate increase that will be applied to a certain class of policies in the jurisdiction.

** I can think of one transaction that aimed to do this, though the instigator was looking to take the other side of the trade. Swiss Re a few years back marketed a "catastrophe bond" which incurred losses in case mortality exceeded a certain level in a group of developed countries. The insurer undoubtedly was trying to hedge its life insurance portfolio. I don't think the transaction ever got off the ground, though if it had, traditional pension plans or annuity providers would have been natural buyers. [Ben H.: 10/30/05 22:18]
 
 
Fear Displacement

The French people are so right to agitate against Turkish accession to the E.U. I mean, imagine what the arrival of crazy Turks will do the solidarity and stability of the pure French republic.

It's as if your house has been invaded by a bunch of thugs and robbers and you're worried about fixing the lock so that bothersome guests can't stroll in without ringing the doorbell. [Ben H.: 10/30/05 12:01]
 
 
A Bit of America in New York

I blogged Cobble Hill Halloween last year. The profusion of strollers has not diminished in the interim and so I expect the same moppet-mob to descend on my neighborhood this October 31st. On the agenda today: procure a dozen bags of candy, secure in the knowledge that I face no risk of leftovers and the glycemic consequences thereof.

My coworkers expressed some surprise that I would participate in the ritual, pointing out that it does not comport with my pedophobia, opposition to extortion, anti-communitarianism, and (most importantly) generally curmudgeonliness. Their observation is not without grounding. However, I look upon trick-or-treating as an intergenerational compact. I took candy from the homeowners of Pleasantville in the 70s and 80s. Now, since I deplore extortion and welfare in the absence of dire need, I must conceptualize of trick-or-treating along the lines of a different model. I didn't extort that candy; nor did I beg for it. Rather, I borrowed it -- intergenerationally. As a child, on cannot not obtain candy just as one wishes. An adult has the means and opportunity to purchase candy, if not the same motive as a child. The natural transactional solution is for children to borrow candy from adults and then to repay their candy debt as adults to the next generation of children. Hey, it works (worked?) for Social Security and Medicare! And, refreshingly, in the case of Halloween, the intergenerational transfer is tilted toward the younger generation rather than greedy geezers.

So... off to CVS to pay my intergenerational debt! [Ben H.: 10/30/05 11:45]
 
   
America Report

As I mentioned, I'm spending the week in America, where I grew up. Most things have remained the same. The trick-or-treating thing, on the other hand, has gotten out of control. Now all the malls (which have increased in number and luxuriousness!) have a trick-or-treat day in the week leading up to Halloween, so if your parents indulge you, you can have a weeklong candy orgy. I took my friends' kid (also named Ben) to one such event yesterday. Couldn't believe how many kids were there. It was like they were trucking them in from neighboring states, or perhaps Louisiana.

Michigan is actually a very nice place to be right now, since the leaves have turned and started to fall. When I remarked on this to my dad, he replied, "Yes, we call this 'the good week'." The six-month winter should start in a week or two.
[Doug: 10/28/05 09:37]
 
 
Freedom House: A Crack House?

At first I thought those Freedom House do-gooders were smoking crack. Venezuela more free than Estonia? But then I read the legend and saw that the freedom score represented an average between 1981 and 1998. I wonder how changes in freedom score between the beginning and end of the sample period correlate to changes in happiness. [Ben H.: 10/27/05 13:52]
 
 
Happiness: State Censorship, or 419 scams?

Why are Chinese people so happy?

Maybe the real question is why Nigerians are such an outlier?

That chop your dollar guy seems like he's having a good time...
[Ben A.: 10/27/05 11:54]
   
 
The Acme of Journalism

Anyone remember when Spy magazine called phone sex lines and asked questions about Miltong Friedman? Quoting from memory:

Spy: Do you endorse Milton Friedman's thesis that economic liberty inevitably produces political liberty?
Phone Sex Girl: Tell me more about this Milton Friedman, he makes me hot

Well Radar Magazine just went one better. [Ben A.: 10/26/05 18:14]
   
 
Globetrotting

I don't think I've mentioned here my visit to Singapore a month back.The trip was mainly notable for the Walter Kirn-ish experience of taking the world's longest direct flight (Newark-Singapore): 19 hours. To take two such flights in order to spend 2.5 days in residence, well, it isn't leisure travel. I saw little of the island except the massive state Biotechnology facility.

And I resisted the impulse to show up at John and Belle's door to demand one of those 17 ingredient concotions she's always listing as "a trivial recipie for octopus flan" or some such. Maybe next time. [Ben A.: 10/26/05 03:32]
   
 
Back In New York... Alas

Finally made it back from the biz trip, just in time to experience dropping temperatures and the remnants of a hurricane. Delightful. Once again, I got a solid block of glorious, sunny days in London. As a rational Bayesian, I must report that my data set indicates an 85% probability that "miserable London weather" is a trope used by the English to engender sympathy, or perhaps as an excuse to wear lots of Burberry.

I also had a couple of days in Istanbul, a little business and a little pleasure, successful on both counts. This is my fourth visit in the past 18 months. Now, anybody who reads thebandarlog will have observed my intense suspicion of things Islamic. Though the Turkish elite would dispute that the label Islamic should apply to their country, even heavy Kemalist indoctrination cannot deny the country's Islamic cultural roots. Yet despite my preconceptions, I have found myself consistently impressed with Istanbul and those residents with whom I've had dealings. The physical infrastructure compares well to developed Europe and is miles ahead of that of Latin American cities. Doing business in emerging markets consists mainly of enduring feeble, patronizing attempts by inferior intellects to swindle you; listening to pitches full of self-contradiction that wilt under the most gentle cross-examination; trying to negotiate with people who are too lazy to even bother to hide their bad faith. In comparison, Turkish managers have struck me as smart, well-trained, commercially-minded and refreshingly straightforward. That the European voting public will accept without complaint as their co-unionists the pack of greasy thieves that goes under the name "Romania" and yet rebel at the notion of Turkish accession reflects poorly on the EU citizenry's judgment.

I decided to stay an extra couple of days after my business meetings. On one of those days I hired a guide to show me some of the historical sites. Since it was Ramadan, places like the Sultanahmet Mosque were more full of locals that usual. Among the crowds, most of the women were wearing headscarves. The reaction of my guide, an educated Turk and unexceptional Kemalist, demonstrated to me that the cultural cringe is not a posture unique to the American left. I did not so much as remark upon the sea of headscarves. The guide could seemingly speak of little else. "There usually aren't so many women dressed like that," he apologized. "It must be because it is Ramadan." When we crossed a street filled with buses surrounded by headscarf-wearing women, he seemed visibly relieved. "You see," he crowed, "these are mostly peasants, they take buses into Istanbul for Ramadan. People from Istanbul don't dress that way." He complained that it was scenes like these that will keep the EU from embracing Turkey. Perhaps that's the truth as regards the average European. The irony is that in order court the votes of Europeans appalled by the potential accession of a country with lots of headscarf-wearers, European politicians threaten to halt negotiations with Turkey because the government oppresses women who choose to don the hijab. And the EU does so at the very same time as France imposes restriction on headscarves in school that are, if anything, more draconian that Turkey's... [Ben H.: 10/25/05 21:04]
 
 
I give the collection of one-star reviews.... FIVE STARS!! [Ben H.: 10/25/05 20:29]
 
 
One Star Amazon Reviews of Classic Books

To Kill a Mockingbird (1960)

Author: Harper Lee

“I don’t see why this book is so fabulous. I would give it a zero. I find no point in writing a book about segregation, there’s no way of making it into an enjoyable book. And yes I am totally against segregation.”

Much more.
[Ben A.: 10/25/05 18:08]
   
 
Technology Works

Finally, a rigorously scientific and accurate online test.



[Ben A.: 10/25/05 17:34]
   
     
   
I'm going to Michigan for a week, starting tomorrow (contrary to an Evite acceptance which I haven't bothered to switch yet ... Dao points out that Ben H is invited to that party too, and I encourage him to go; Dao will be there too -- morover "evited" is a valid scrabble word).

I wanted to point out one of my favorite of Jesus's phrases: "Verily I say unto you, they have their reward." He says it three times in Matthew 6, in the Sermon on the Mount, of people who do their religious activities ostentatiously, so as to win the respect of their communities. He then goes on to say, e.g., "But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret ...". I love it that Jesus doesn't use rhetorical overkill against the hypocrites and the ostentatiously pious. He doesn't say that the advantages they win are "nonexistent", or that they are only "seeming" advantages that are truly hurt them. He acknowledges the advantages straightforwardly -- but with a single phrase who very brevity stresses how limited they are. (Compared to "treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt".)

I can imagine using this phrase a lot. People I see working themselves sick in order to further their career: "Verily, they have their reward." Stern academics who pride themselves on their renunciation of modern American frivolities: "Verily, they have their reward." Vain couples scouring last weekend's Times Magazine wedding supplement looking to find what expensive wedding frivolities have become de rigueuer: "Verily, they have their reward." [Doug: 10/24/05 23:19]
 
     
 
"The Olsen Twins of the White Nationalist Movement"

The world is a scary place. [Ben A.: 10/22/05 12:06]
   
 
Free Speech: How I Hate It

Kinsely nails it. [Ben A.: 10/21/05 15:57]
   
     
   
Ah, Ben, that's just the sort of banality we'd expect an American to quote. You must learn from the French that dysfunctional morosity = depth. [Doug: 10/21/05 08:58]
 
     
 
A Point Largely Missing From Modern Fiction

"The fact to which we have got to cling, as to a lifebelt, is that it is possible to be a normal decent person and yet be fully alive."

--George Orwell

[Ben A.: 10/20/05 12:43]
   
 
Pitcher Volatility Analysis

One measure often used as a simple ‘count’ statistic in pitching assessment is the quality start, defined as a starting pitching appearance in which the pitcher goes at least three innings and gives up no more than three runs. Although the limit case corresponds to an unspectacular ERA of 4.50, even that performance gives the average offensive team a fighting chance to win the game.

A pitcher’s quality start percentage (defined as [# quality starts]/{# of total starts] gives a rough and ready measure of volatility. Over the past ten years, league quality start percentage has ranged from 42-48%. Good pitchers will average a quality start two out of every three outings, and a quality start percentage exceeding 80% indicates an exceptionally strong season.

One would expect there to be a fairly good correlation between earned run average and QS%. By inspection, this appears to be correct. What one would like to find are pitchers who consistently post more/fewer quality starts than their ERA would predict.* As Ben H suggests below, lack of volatility would be a highly desirable quality for teams like the Yankees, which post a potent offense.

* Both these measures, unfortunately, are going to look volatile year-to-year compared to strikeouts/innings pitched, or even hits+walks/innings pitched. [Ben A.: 10/20/05 01:28]
   
 
Inflation Scare!!

PPI clocks in at 1.9% m-o-m. Not to worry, though: inflation excluding the prices of things that have become more expensive is quite subdued! [Ben H.: 10/18/05 13:15]
 
 
DHS Secretary Quijote

Actually deport illegal aliens? Let me know how that works out for you. [Ben H.: 10/18/05 13:13]
 
   
Yeah, we're in Paris now, where I'm trying to deal with the "dossier immobilier", i.e. finding an apartment to rent or buy. I won't bore you with the details but suffice it to say that the purchase-price/rent ratio is just as out of whack here as in New York. An apartment that costs $500K euros would rent for about $15K per year (from what I can tell), giving a ratio of about 33. I believe that a ratio of 20 is considered "normal" globally speaking. We'd buy anyway if we believed that the real estate market's trajectory was (as Ben A's family puts it) "to infinity, and beyond!" But I suspect on the contrary that any purchase by us would instantly trigger a crash.

Nothing else to report really, given that Paris never changes. [Doug: 10/17/05 08:25]
 
 
Outta Town

I'm here in London for most of the week (Turkey later). As usual, the sky is blue and the sun is shining. Each visit leads me (as a rational Bayesian) to give further credence to my theory that the trope of "dreary London weather" is a total fabrication.

Doug, is it the case that for the first time in a while, thebandarlog is majority European? [Ben H.: 10/17/05 05:51]
 
 
All Hail Roger Clemens...

Half-pitcher and half-god. Indeed, the blow that unseated the Yankee dynasty was Clemens' decision to "retire." That he eventually took Pettite with him to Houston was just the cherry on the sundae. Clemens is another guy who gives the lie to the idea of the statistical insigificance of "clutch performance."

Speaking of baseball statistics, I want to revive the discussion about adding a stochastic dimension to baseball statistics. It seems to me that one of the most important aspects of pitching -- an aspect that doesn't show up in the "simple average" statistics -- is consistency. Take Jose Contreras. As a Yankee, from time to time he pitched spectacular games, putting on display the dirty stuff that had won his Cuban reputation; but other times, he would come out to the mound and promptly implode. What's turned him into a sterling asset for the White Sox is his newfound consistency. One can say with much more confidence that on any given outing it's Contreras the ace who is going to show up. For the Yankees, the importance of consistency should be greater than for the average team. SInce the Yankees bring the field an offensive juggernaut, a shut-out outing doesn't add much value over a 3-run showing. A pitcher who can very consistently deliver 3-run, 7-8 inning outings will prove more valuable than a guy with a 3.00 ERA who alternately pitches 1-run complete games and combusts and gives up a ton of runs in four or five innings. What statistics measure would best capture consistency, do you think? Perhaps something like, per-outing ERA volatility (standard deviation of per-outing ERA; or difference between ERA and ERA in the 75th percentile outing?). One problem here is that the measure seems like it would be distorted for pitchers with shorter average outings. Shorting outings should lead to higher measured volatility for pitchers with the same "true" consistency. Maybe we look at volatility of measures that are less "lumpy" than ERA, for example volatility of per-outing K/BB ratio or balls/strikes ratio?

Another idea suggests itself based on work my team has done on currency forecasting. Behavior of currency returns tends to be multi-modal. Currencies can behave a certain way (say, range-bound, low volatility) for long stretches, but this behavior may be punctuated by periods of very distinct behavior (high volatility, trending). One way we model this is via regime-shifting models, such as a Markov-switching model. FOr a given data series, the model tells you what the probability is that you are in each regime and transition probabilities. Could this not be applied to pitching statistics? A "consistent" pitcher is one for whom the transition probability from "ace" regime to "combustion artist" regime is low, for instance. In addition, if one could fit a switching model for a given pitcher, it could be a useful tool in deciding when to pull him from the game. [Ben H.: 10/16/05 11:34]
 
 
Roger Clemens!

The Rocket lacked his A game, but managed to keep the National League's number one lineup in check long enough for the Astros to take game three. If he were still a Yankee, NY would still be playing. [Ben A.: 10/16/05 01:29]
   
 
Mohammed El-Erian!

As a counterpoint to all our blog's carping about bad choices on the part of the Nobel Committee's, I want to point out an excellent choice by the committee charged with finding a new CEO for Harvard Management Company. This morning the University announced that it has appointed my fellow-EM investor and friend Mohammed El-Erian to the post. It's a superb choice. Mohammed is one of the savviest investors in EM, a strong academic economist, and an experienced manager. And with regard to perhaps the greatest challenge that an HMC head faces, namely fending off charges from envious paleo-hippy alums that he is overpaid, he is uniquely well-qualified. That Mohammed will be paid less than his market value is not, as was the case with Jack Meyer, a (well-founded) conjecture, but a hard fact (assuming he gets paid like Meyer). His pay at Harvard will come out substantially below what he already earns at PIMCO. In addition, he may be better positioned to deflect that sort of criticism because of who he is -- half-Egyptian, half-French, with an impeccable academic pedigree; as opposed to Meyer, who could never shake off a starchy, WASP-plutocrat old-boy image. [Ben H.: 10/14/05 17:09]
 
 
Harold Pinter?!

The Nobel Prize winner? Honestly? I say this as someone with a soft spot for Pinter. His 'The Homecoming' contains one of my all time favorite characters, the ineffectual academic philosopher Teddy:

Lenny: Do you detect a certain logical incoherence in the central affirmations of Christian theism?
Teddy: That question does not fall within my province
Lenny: Well, look at it this way ... you don't mind my asking you some questions, do you ?
Teddy: If they're within my province.

This snatch of dialog, as well as the scene in which Teddy steals his brother's "specially made" cheese roll, stayed with me throughout life.

[Ben A.: 10/14/05 14:00]
   
 
The Yankees: Still a Juggernaut

I am with you, Ben H. There is little wrong with the New York Yankees, and any defects (defense, 2B, CF) would be rendered inconsequential by the addition of one solid starting pitcher. The lineup, as you know, is magnificent. The Red Sox on base percentage assault led to marginally more runs this year, but the 1-5 of Jeter, Rodriguez, Giambi, Sheffield, and Matsui is unparralled in recent memory (1993 bluejays?). The Yankees will remain dominant on the offensive side of the ball. If Cashman can just derive 200 strong innings from the Brown/Bernie Willaims peace dividend, or if, heaven forbid, Pavano rounds back into form, the Bombers could easily recapture the dominance of the late 90s super-teams. I would expect the Yankees to concentrate efforts on A.J. Burnett, Jarod Washburn and the like. I also hear that Jeff Weaver may be available.

p.s. You may be interested to know that James himself has had second thoughts about clutch hitting. I also tend to be a clutch skeptic, but my reason quails when faced with Derek Jeter in a pressure situation. Now that guy is clutch. [Ben A.: 10/11/05 22:24]
   
 
A-Rod: A Dave Winfield for the 21st Century

Back in the early 80s, Steibrenner's megabucks slugging solution wore #31. Dave Winfield came to the Yankees on a fat 10-year contract. He managed to rack up solid regular season numbers. However, in the 1981 World Series, he went 1-for-17 and earned the sobriquet "Mr. May" from Steinbrenner. I have vivid memories of my grandfather waving his hand and making a sour face at one of Winfield's all to frequent inning-ending double-play balls. To Grandpa, Winfield was "that bum" and no amount of statistical evidence could erase his perception that Winfield was indeed a late-season choke artist.

As I watched the ALDS series this year, I had many occasions to recall my grandfather's anti-Winfield bile as I watched A-Rod recapitulate the Winfield story; as a bonus, when I attended Saturday's game, I got to see my father recapitulate my grandfather's role as critic. 25 years later, another member of the clan was making the dismissive wave and the pickle-face, denouncing another long-term contract choke-artist as a bum.

A-Rod had a great season, perhaps one of the greatest seasons by a third-baseman in recent history -- and this from a guy who has only been playing the position 2 years. But still, no one can deny that he put in a pitiful performance in the post-season. I've read my Bill James and I do a certain amount of statistical analysis for a living, so I know very well the empirical arguments against the reality of "clutchness." But I am also my father's son, who tends to wave his hand and make a pickle-face to express disgust. And so, Ben, I grant you: A-Rod is a bum!

That said, he's ours, with a contract nobody else can afford and with numbers that not even Steinbrenner will dismiss. Therefore, there is no use dwelling on him. He'll spend next year exactly where he spent this one. However, I wonder, Ben, what you think the Yankees ought to do in the off-season. The city dailies are abuzz with talk about a major overhaul -- starting with Cashman, the architect of the long -- and maybe, now, geriatric -- Yankee boom of the last decade. The way I look at it, the team does not need a major overhaul. At most positions, the team is quite solid, if on the whole defensively weak. We have a screaming need for a center-fielder (maybe New York can continue its tradition of poaching Boston heros and grab Johnny Damon?) and arguably we also need a legitimate two-way threat first baseman (moving SteroidBoy to DH). With Bernie William's and Kevin Brown's contracts shed, Steinbrenner should have ample dough to fill these holes. The Yankee middle-relief has proved dreadful, but if all the starting pitching comes back healthy next year, the Yankees have a surfeit of talent, some of which could be moved to the bullpen. Thoughts? [Ben H.: 10/11/05 21:12]
 
 
Fenway

It was an ugly scene at Fenway this Friday, but at least we bested the White Sox in inventive mocking chants. The best target of the night was the biblical literalism of White Sox outfielder Carl dinosaur bones were created by man" Everett. During the season, I had heard various sing-song chants (Stega-saurus), but I was caught unprepared when a guy in the row below stood up and declaimed:

Boom boom acka-lacka lacka boom
Boom boom acka-lacka boom boom
Open the door
get on the floor
everybody rock the dinosaur!

Good times.

And by the way Ben H, how about Mr. Clutch himself, Alex Rodriguez?

[Ben A.: 10/11/05 20:42]
   
     
   
The other thing is that we saw, at the wedding, a Harvard acquaintance who, against all odds, actually got a job teaching in a philosophy department. At Harvard, no less. How did he beat the odds? I don't know for sure, but it may be relevant that he looks, talks, and acts almost exactly like Warren Goldfarb, a Harvard philosophy professor of long standing (I believe he was once the department chair). I was going to recommend the mimetic approach to an unemployed Ph.D. of my acquaintance, but was told that he had already tried this. [Doug: 10/11/05 19:29]
 
   
This was a two-wedding weekend for us. One of them entailed driving three hours in pouring rain up to Williamstown, Mass. and then driving three hours back in even heavier rain at night. That wedding was nice in itself except that the ground in the reception tent was totally soaked, so that people like Dao with open-toed shoes got their feet covered with cold muddy water went they went to the buffet line. They had a highly skilled Dixieland jazz band in full Mardi Gras regalia. I wonder if they got a deal hiring refugees from New Orleans.
[Doug: 10/11/05 00:28]
 
 
Thanks for the heads-up, Ben. The reviews had led me to consider seeing that film, but I did so with more than a hint of trepidation. I have never failed to find a Cronenberg film deliberately creepy and weird. Of course, that's probably precisely why the high-brow critics praise his work. Film School Rule #1: Creepy = Deep. [Ben H.: 10/10/05 10:59]
 
 
Avoid At All Costs

The new Cronenberg film History of Violence.

What does it say that 90% of film reviewers liked, and in the case of worthies like David Edelstein and Roger Ebert, adored, this wreck? Condorcet's jury theorem tells me that it is I who am the crazy one. [Ben A.: 10/10/05 02:15]
   
 
Clearly, this is Michael Brown's fault. [Ben H.: 10/9/05 17:34]
 
 
Thank You, Jimmy Carter

From one Nobel Laureate to another: Jimmy Carter and his center ratified Chavez's fraud-filled recall referendum victory, and now, firmly ensconced in Miraflores El Comandante will soon, it seems, be dealing with this year's Nobelist, Mohammed ElBaradei. Argentine daily Clarin reveals today that Chavez has initiated discussions with the Argentine government for the purchase of a nuclear reactor. For peaceful purposes, of course. Because countries with billions of barrels of untapped petroleum reserves have ample reason to start mucking around with nuclear power stations. The Kirchner regime reportedly finds itself divided about the wisdom of this frankly insane request. The President and the Planning Ministry (the foci of nationalist bluster within the Administration) support selling the technology to Chavez, while the Economy Ministry and the External Relations Ministry (departments possessed of what passes for rationality among Peronist hacks) oppose it. When Roberto Lavagna and Rafael Bielsa count as voices of reason, you know it isn't a good situation.

Pat Robertson was wrong. He should have advocated for bumping off Kirchner, too.

Seriously, though, the Bush Administration has left creditors high-and-dry in the Argentine default on the grounds that the U.S. cannot jeopardize its relations with Argentina at this juncture. Why? The U.S. wants to isolate Chavez, who in his turn is trying to use his oil wealth to buy influence among his neighbors (see Petrocaribe accord whereby Venezuela will provide cheap oil to Carribbean nations, PDVSA's plans to build a refinery in Uruguay, and Fonden actual and planned purchases of debt at below-market interest rates from Argentina and Ecuador). If we can't even rely on Argentina to reject out of hand the sale of nuclear technology to the Monkey of Caracas then clearly the coddling strategy is not delivering results. Time for a rethink? [Ben H.: 10/9/05 14:31]
 
 
Tolerance or Surrender?

A local council in the UK banned from its office any pictures or reproduction of pigs (including Piglet from Winnie the Pooh) in response to a Muslim's complaint that he found such imagery offensive. Mark Steyn tries to instruct obtuse multicultis on the difference between tolerance and self-abasement.

Perhaps the council ought to consider whether it makes more sense to ban real-live Islamic swine rather than pictures of cartoon pigs. As Martha Stewart might say: "Islamocrazy Britons, you just don't fit in." [Ben H.: 10/8/05 12:59]
 
 
Another Achiever Joins the Humbletonians

Mohammded ElBaradei, you've just won the Nobel Peace Prize! How do you feel?

Humbled!

Hey, I call that progress. Usually you do anything to an Arab, and he's "humiliated." [Ben H.: 10/7/05 14:37]
 
   
Another Great New Yorker Humor Piece

I don't know if I linked to this before or not ... when Carl V mentioned the "Tonight's Specials" vignette, it reminded me of something but I couldn't remember what. Now I remember that it's another particularly good "Shouts and Murmurs" entry that's also about New York City restaurants. The Google link doesn't work (looks like it may be behind a subscriber-only curtain, or maybe they want you to drop $100 on the complete CD-ROM.) Luckily, Google cached it, and I reproduce it here. It's by Noah Baumbach. It's Called "The Zagat History of My Last Relationship."


AASE'S Bring a "first date" to this "postage stamp"-size bistro. Tables are so close you're practically "sitting in the laps" of the couple next to you, but the lush décor is "the color of love." Discuss your respective "dysfunctional families" and tell her one of your "fail-safe" stories about your father's "cheapness" and you're certain to "get a laugh." After the "to die for" soufflés, expect a good-night kiss, but don't push for more, because if you play your cards right there's a second date "right around the corner."

BRASSERIE PENELOPE "Ambience and then some" at this Jamaican-Norwegian hybrid. Service might be a "tad cool," but the warmth you feel when you gaze into her baby blues will more than compensate for it. Conversation is "spicier than the jerk chicken," and before you know it you'll be back at her one-bedroom in the East Village, quite possibly "getting lucky."

THE CHICK & HEN Perfect for breakfast "after sleeping together," with "killer coffee" that will "help cure your seven-beer/three-aquavit hangover." Not that you need it—your "amplified high spirits" after having had sex for the first time in "eight months" should do the trick.

DESARCINA'S So what if she thought the movie was "pretentious and contrived" and you felt it was a "masterpiece" and are dying to inform her that "she doesn't know what she's talking about"? Remember, you were looking for a woman who wouldn't "yes" you all the time. And after one bite of chef Leonard Desarcina's "duck manqué" and a sip of the "generous" gin Margaritas you'll start to see that she might have a point.

GORDY'S Don't be ashamed if you don't know what wine to order with your seared minnow; the "incredibly knowledgeable" waiters will be more than pleased to assist. But if she makes fun of "the way you never make eye contact with people," you might turn "snappish" and end up having your first "serious fight," one where feelings are "hurt."

PANCHO MAO "Bring your wallet," say admirers of Louis Grenouille's pan-Asian-Mexican-style fare, because it's "so expensive you'll start to wonder why she hasn't yet picked up a tab." The "celeb meter is high," and "Peter Jennings" at the table next to yours might spark an "inane political argument" where you find yourself "irrationally defending Enron" and finally saying aloud, "You don't know what you're talking about!" Don't let her "stuff herself," as she might use that as an excuse to go to sleep "without doing it."

RIGMAROLE At this Wall Street old boys' club, don't be surprised if you run into one of her "ex-boyfriends" who works in "finance." Be prepared for his "power play," when he sends over a pitcher of "the freshest-tasting sangria this side of Barcelona," prompting her to visit his table for "ten minutes" and to come back "laughing" and suddenly critical of your "cravat." The room is "snug," to say the least, and it's not the best place to say, full voice, "What the fuck were you thinking dating him?" But don't overlook the "best paella in town" and a din "so loud" you won't notice that neither of you is saying anything.

TATI Prices so "steep" you might feel you made a serious "career gaffe" by taking the "high road" and being an academic rather than "selling out" like "every other asshole she's gone out with." The "plush seats" come in handy if she's forty-five minutes late and arrives looking a little "preoccupied" and wearing "a sly smile."

VANDERWEI'S Be careful not to combine "four dry sakes" with your "creeping feeling of insecurity and dread," or you might find yourself saying, "Wipe that damn grin off your face!" The bathrooms are "big and glamorous," so you won't mind spending an hour with your cheek pressed against the "cool tiled floor" after she "walks out." And the hip East Village location can't be beat, since her apartment is "within walking distance," which makes it very convenient if you should choose to "lean on her buzzer for an hour" until she calls "the cops."

ZACHARIA AND SONS & CO. This "out of the way," "dirt cheap," "near impossible to find," "innocuous" diner is ideal for "eating solo" and insuring that you "won't run into your ex, who has gone back to the bond trader." The "mediocre at best" burgers and "soggy fries" will make you wish you "never existed" and wonder why you're so "frustrated with your life" and unable to sustain a "normal," "healthy" "relationship."
[Doug: 10/7/05 12:59]
 
 
A Sensible Choice

The Nobel Peace Price has been awarded to IAEA chief Mohammed ElBaradei, a man who deserves recognition for the cool capitalization of his name, if nothing else. At first, I thought the Nobel committee had committed yet another travesty. Then it occurred to me that by the committee's own weird standards, ElBaradei constitutes an excellent choice. He fits well with previous honorees. Jimmy Carter makes sure crazy tyrants can stay in office; ElBaradei makes sure they can keep their atomic weapons programs. [Ben H.: 10/7/05 08:04]
 
 
Good Luck Catching a Cab Tonight...

On the other hand, because of this, I have a shot of getting a seat on the 4-Train ride home. [Ben H.: 10/6/05 18:38]
 
 
The Blogosphere Rises to the Occasion Magnificently

Here and here. [Ben A.: 10/5/05 22:38]
   
 
And His Arctic Redoubt Will be the "Fortress of Amphetamines"/b>

Nic Cage named his son Kal-El. [Ben A.: 10/5/05 22:11]
   
 
People Respond To Incentives

Now that high gasoline prices have proved more than a transient condition,SUV sales have begun to slide. People respond to incentives. No directives from Washington, no fleet fuel efficiency standards, no cultural shifts accomplished this; rather, a very simple increase in the price of gas was all it took. The New York Times professes itself amazed, but then you would expect socialists to find the textbook operation of the price mechanism surprising. It's not in their textbooks.

I hope the administation will take advantage of this (to steal an ugly Timesian phrase) "teachable moment" to offer a sensible proposal on energy conservation. In view of the demonstrated efficacy of the price mechanism, the government sharply hikes gasoline taxes once the current refinery outages clear up; and in exchange, the lefties allow the administration to scrap CAFE standards and most of the other "command economy" mechanisms aimed at curbing gasoline consumption. [Ben H.: 10/4/05 06:56]
 
 
Harriet Miers

Not surprisingly, given where my firm is headquartered, a few of the partners have had dealings with her. The verdict: she is very smart, but even so, they have something of a hard time envisioning her on the Supreme Court. [Ben H.: 10/3/05 18:27]
 
   
This Will ... Uh, Impale That With a Shuriken of Foie Gras?

Oh, Come On!

Link via Curbed. [Doug: 10/3/05 08:09]
 
   
The Cinema of Mortification

Rented the first season of "Curb Your Enthusiasm" (yes, Ben, we finished watching all ten episodes). Recommended. For those who can stand scenes of extreme awkwardness and embarrassment. [Doug: 10/1/05 21:27]
 
   
Fine Dining in NYC

Carl V points out that tonight's specials are surprisingly good (for a New Yorker humor piece).
[Doug: 9/29/05 14:20]
 
 
More Color From D.C>

I had a meeting with the governor and deputy governor of the central bank of a southern African country. In order to avoid having to pass through the security cordon around the IMF/WB buildings, we agreed to meet in the lobby of their hotel. Commendably, they had lodged themselves not at the sort of posh property usually frequented by jet-setting bureaucrats, but rather at the Courtyard Marriott in Dupont Circle. The most pressing question we had in store for these central bankers had to do with how the bank would manage monetary and exchange rate policy in light of the drought-related food shortage in their country. It was therefore with surprise that we remarked upon the arrival of our two interlocutors, each of whom weighed at least 350 pounds. I can sincerely suggest to the World Food Program that its functionaries first step in country ought to be to close down the central bank's cafeteria. The many tourist families with whom we shared the Muzak-suffused lobby that served as our conference room must surely have wondered what a was going on at our table, consisting of two stereotypical New York finance suits and 700 pounds of African monetary authority. [Ben H.: 9/27/05 21:06]
 
 
That last title is going to bring hits to the blog like we've never seen! [Ben A.: 9/26/05 20:26]
   
 
Hilton Head

I'm hoping that in between the wedding and the reading, you had time for a meditation on love, loss, and memory. [Ben H.: 9/26/05 10:07]
 
   
Back From Hilton Head

I was down South too this weekend, attending my cousin Kim's wedding. The bride was luminous. In between events I read a radiant novel. Actually it was an Inspecteur Maigret novel and therefore surpassingly dark, but you know what I mean.

[Doug: 9/26/05 09:38]
 
 
Back from D.C.

Just back from D.C., where i attended the IMF/WB annual meetings. As usual, protesters were on hand, but for once they were not there to harangue participants. Instead, this year's lot of the self-righteous and scruffy were marching against the Iraq War (and, for some, against American more generally). I saw very few protestors in my zipping about D.C., though I did glimpse AL Sharpton sitting by the window of a fast-food Chinese restaurant. However, I did not entirely escape the madness. I was awakened this morning at around 7am by the sound of drums, whistles and megafone-distorted human voices. A group of protesters had set up shop right behind my hotel and below my window. Now, I'll own that there is room to disagree about the wisdom of America's actions in the Middle East. But what I cannot bring myself to understand is what kind of people start a protest at 7am on a Sunday, on an empty, lightly-trafficked side street that faces the back of several business hotels. [Ben H.: 9/25/05 22:11]
 
 
A Response to A Reader's Response

Josh's response reminded me of a critical essay I read a long time ago. After wracking my brain, I remembered that Doris Lessing had written it and, thanks to the internet, it took me no more than 2 minutes to track it down. Lessing echoes X's how/why distinction. Books written with an explicitly didactic purpose, she says, come from a different part of the writer's mind than do authentic works of fiction, in her view a part not capable of producing interesting fiction.

Every writer has the experience of being told that a novel, a story, is "about" something or other. I wrote a story, The Fifth Child, which was at once pigeonholed as being "about" the Palestinian problem, genetic research, feminism, anti-Semitism, and so on. A journalist from France walked into my living room and before she even sat down said, "Of course The Fifth Child is about AIDS." An effective conversation-stopper, I do assure you. But what is interesting is the habit of mind that has to analyze a literary work like this. If you say, "Had I wanted to write about AIDS or the Palestinian problem, I would have written a pamphlet," you tend to get baffled stares, such an unfamiliar thought has it become. That a work of the imagination has to be "really" about some problem, is, again, an heir of socialist realism, of the infamous Zhdanov. To write a story for the sake of storytelling will not do; it is frivolous, not to say reactionary. Whole literary departments in a thousand universities are in the grip of this way of thinking, and yet the history of storytelling, of literature, tells us that there has never been a story that does not illuminate human experience in one way or another. The demand that stories must be "about" something is Communist thinking and, further back, comes from religious thinking, with its desire for improving books as simpleminded as the messages on samplers. "Little birds in their nests agree." "Good children must, good children ought, do what they are told, do what they are taught." I found that on a wall in a hotel in Wales.
[Ben H.: 9/22/05 15:34]
 
   
A Reader's Response to My Take On Indecision

[Josh S. writes:]

My main problem is that you seem to base your decision of whether the book is of merit on whether the roadmap for life/spiritual breakthrough that Kunkel's main character reaches holds water. When (obviously) it doesn't, you decide the book isn't all that good. To me this doesn't seem the right way to judge fiction. Tolstoy, for example, in War and Peace and Anna K, was trying to figure out an overarching philosophy, but the merit of those books is not whether T's philosophy worked (it doesn't). Eggers too is always trying to figure things out. In fact, most authors are, that's why they set out to write their books -- to come to some deeper understanding. However, I don't think that the main judgment of fiction can be whether they reach that point. The value of Kerouac's writing (if it still has any) is not its spiritual wisdom. Even someone like Ayn Rand, who wrote straight philosophical fiction is read in colleges today not because her philosophy "works" but because she incites discussion.

Fiction is about the how, not the why. The why is best left, I think, for spiritual practice. If you judge fiction by the why, Thich Nhat Hanh's novels (he wrote a couple) should be universally acclaimed as some of the greatest ever. But no one reads them anymore because they don't work as novels.

You could make a point that Kunkel deserves to be held to this standard of judgment because the book aspires to be about why. Again, I don't see how the value of the book is in whether it achieves this aim. A good comparison is the book Homeland by Sam Lipsyte. It's very similar in that at the end of the book, kind of out of the blue, the main character pulls together and gives a long speech about the point at it all at a high school reunion (immediately followed by another character being killed with a 16th century mace, but that's off the topic). Thing is, Homeland's speech is the weakest part of the book just as Indecision's is. But Homeland is still a good work of art -- it is hysterical and insightful into a certain generation of young and confused. But it seems by the standards you judge Indecision by, the book wouldn't hold up because the speech is lame.

What novels should we read then? There are those that do coalesce a coherent and viable spiritual truth ([a mutual friend] mentions Infinite Jest here, I never finished it [but still would you read IJ for its answers for life, or for its language, wit, energy etc?]). Then there are books which throw up their hands and describe how the situation is not fixable, like Catch 22 or The Ginger Man (this is a great genre too).

One thing I respect about what Kunkel did (and I never met the man and have no interest in doing so, I'm betting he's a twit) is that he makes no bones about the fact that he's lived a sheltered and abundant life. He hasn't had to deal with much -- no deaths, disease, abuse, poverty. His parents may have divorced, that's about it. I respect him for having the balls to use this "self-absorbed and shallow" background for the main character, instead of trying to give his book more emotional weight with some kind of dramatic personal suffering. He starts where he is. I think what happens then is that Kunkel ends up hitting too close to home for a lot of people. [Doug: 9/22/05 09:32]
 
   
The "Intelligent Thermostat" Theory

What with another monster storm churning through the Gulf of Mexico, and the well-known correlation between higher temperatures and stronger hurricanes, I think the governing Bible Belt / Republican coalition needs some new ammunition in its fight to keep anyone from doing anything about global warming. I suggest the "Intelligent Thermostat" theory. Weather patterns are just so complex that no blind deterministic system can be guiding them. They must be managed by some Intelligent Thermostat wholly beyond our control! [Doug: 9/21/05 18:56]
 
 
4% Down, 96% to Go

The New York Times announces layoffs. While I feel bad for the individuals affected (assuming Paul Krugman is not among, as he richly deserves to be), I won't deny that I feel a certain satisfaction to see the Times floundering. Perhaps it should try dedicating itself to reporting the news rather than flattering the prejudices of coastal bobos. Most readers want their newspaper to serve as a window on the world, not a mirror. And don't even get me started on their harebrained "TimesSelect" product. I would pay money to have the times excise from their free edition the "select" bloviation of its columnists. [Ben H.: 9/20/05 21:10]
 
 
German Deadlock

Neither the right nor the left has managed to impose itself in the German election. How will the deadlock be solved? Burn down the Reichstag! You can't go wrong with a traditional response... [Ben H.: 9/19/05 10:39]
 
   
The Eternal Recurrence of McClintic Sphere

As I've mentioned to a few people including Ben H, it was with a slightly guilty conscience that I recently bought and read Indecision, a new novel by one of our near-contemporaries at Harvard. The guilt comes from my general principle that people ought not to focus, in their choice of reading material and of cultural products generally, on stuff about people exactly like them. Professional women should not restrict themselves to Bridget Jones clones, and listlessness-prone NYC-based Ivy Leaguers should not restrict themselves to books like this one. But everyone's entitled to a guilty pleasure now and again.

The book is okay, and for most of this blog's highly selective readership will yield plenty of that's-so-true moments. You will pretty much guess what the tone will be going in — i.e. the ironic but also post-ironic, overeducated but also affectedly colloquial tone characteristic of people our age. (This is the first book I've read that solves the perennial novelist's problem of finding new synonyms for "He said, '...'" by using "He was like, '...'".) Kunkel gives this tone a decent rendition that is often a little rushed, with metaphors and adjectives that are not quite right. I didn't highlight any examples as I read them since I didn't expect to write a review here, but opening to a random page will work fine: "I'd feel myself swoon and slip away into the world of information like a snowflake signing up for a blizzard." A less creative writer would have said "like a snowflake swirling into a blizzard"; Kunkel's anthopomorphization of the snowflake is a humorous way to punch up the metaphor, but on the other hand the metaphor doesn't really work, because it paints a hypothetical scene before the snowflake hurtles into the blizzard, whereas we ought to be seeing it at the moment of hurtling. It's a small point but there's one like it on just about every page, and as a result you shouldn't read this book if your looking for a stylistic masterpiece.

The content of the book is just as not-quite-inspiring as the form. Having read the NY Times' recent puffy piece on the magazines "The Believer" and "N+1", whose founding editor Kunkel is, I was interested to see whether their founders do have any potential to give some intellectual direction to our generation. But the life-decision that the protagonist (Dwight) of "Indecision" inevitably makes (presumably on behalf of our Generation) is really nothing but that "Keep cool, but care" dictum Pynchon put into the mouth of one of his own hipsters fifty years ago. Maybe I should set up the protagonist's problem more carefully before talking about his solution. One horn of the lifestyle dilemma (actually trilemma (triceratops?)) is the headlong meaningless pursuit of wealth and status, here incarnated mainly by Dwight's dad, but also by some of our contemporaries — I believe Dwight calls some of them "Republican shit-suckers" at one point. The second horn is dour asceticism, which shows up in this book in both Episcopalian and left-wing-academic varieties. The third horn is just gradually whiling away a life of aimless pleasures in a downtown New York apartment with a string of quasi-girlfriends. But however you taxonomize the grim options, the point is that America's truly unbelievable material wealth has not yielded many or perhaps any fulfilling life-plans for its youngsters. And so Dwight's puzzle is how to get out of the third aimless-New-York-pleasure rut without landing in either of the other ruts.

It will probably not surprise you when I say that Dwight's solution is not to identify himself with his eternal Self and so to come to unitive knowledge of the Divine Ground. No, it's not really possible for anyone in this cynical-but-also-post-cynical cultural moment to suggest a radical Third (or Fourth) Way and be taken seriously. What one must suggest is more like a superposition of the three aforementioned ruts. (1) Get a job and make enough money to afford creme brulee after dinner; (2) vote for Democrats and pick a social cause to contribute to; (3) don't take anything too seriously and continue to maintain an apartment south of 23rd street. This is essentially the life-plan Dwight arrives at in the end. There is a danger — which in this book is ultimately realized, I think — that such a superposition of unfulfilling life-plans will fail to end up looking like a fulfilling transcendence of them. To make Dwight's decision seem like a transcendence, however approximately, Kunkel does a couple of things. First, he makes it clear that Dwight has looked really hard (made a "very rigid search"?) for something better than this mere superposition, so that his failure to find one feels like hard-won wisdom. Second, the very un-earnestness of his decision seems meant, paradoxically, to give it extra weight; all those disappointing 20th-century enthusiams were such a bummer that our ironic (but also post-ironic) semi-detachment will seem wise by comparison. It's essential to the book that Dwight give his new-worldview speech (at his high school reunion) while drunk. Setting this speech next to, say, the two-hundred-pager of John Galt when he commandeers the radio station and the nation sits rapt before their radios as he lays down his Zarathustran revelations (am I misremembering?) would be quite funny. Here is the core of Dwight's speech, which, depending on what you'd like to get out of the book, may save you the trouble of reading the whole thing.

But I mean to be brief. Life is brief. And youth briefer than life. Except for some people. Lots of people actually, especially in the third world, where lots of people die very young. For us, however, youth has been appallingly expanded, in our remarkable time, when there are more people alive on the planet today than have ever even existed before, and when therefore the things we do have a special new importance, and also, by the same token, each individual possesses a special new irrelevance, because of the same numbers — anyway, [can you imagine John Galt saying "anyway ..." in his speech?] for us, during this time, youth has expanded to dimensions apparently without historical precedent. And I would like, in passing, to thank our Formmate Elaine Weddleton, who could not be here today, because she is a labor organizer in D.C. and waging the good fight against people such as ourselves and particularly our unkillable parents. [...] Thank you [...] So all I mean to say is that youth, brief youth, long-lasting youth, is for contemplating choices with your ever-changing mind. And yet the time has surely come for choices to be made. And many of you have made them. I hope you've made the right ones. Which kind of I doubt in some cases you have. Some of you are probably demonstrating in your daily lives the dubious fitness to rule of America's ruling class. To me that sounds like bad work and no love. I see my notes here say WORK AND LOVE. Um, yeah, and I have found both of these in the woman here with me, Brigid Lerman, who is both a Belgian drug-company heiress and my fiancee [...] though she denies being either. Anyway, I have chosen to be her fiance, and a worker on the garden path of global justice. And this happened more or less at the same time I lost my hair. On my body. Just to come full circle. As you may have noticed that I did. Finally I guess the one single thing I would ask of you, as your Form Agent, in closing [...] I would ask that you all think of what change, analogous in happiness, and with a psychological concomitant, to losing your hair, if you really feel you're too hairy, might happen to you to make you satisfied with your decisions. Because it seems to me that we, in this room, for reasons of cruel and unusual socioeconomic conditions, have an especially big range of decisions we could make, and so there is a particular burden. So without further ado [...] I would only say, in overdue conclusion, that the weird thing about freedom to choose would seem to be that no one knows what to do with it unless they give it to others. Which I think was a large factor in the horrible confusion that until recently I selflessly took it upon myself to exemplify. Until the bobohuarzia, and the love, and the democratic socialism. [...] On behalf of which ideology I mean to say that only when other people have the same freedom which we have devoted ourselves to squandering — only then will we really finally know what we should have done with ours in the first place. So let us remain faithful to those privileged kids we were by seeking to honor and cancel our condition by making it general throughout the world.


The main thing I want to call out in this speech is its recapitulation of what, in my view, is the central cop-out of progressivism as a philosophy. Let's assume that by "freedom to choose" Dwight means, in those last sentences, the personal freedoms of contemporary America as well the incredible material wealth that makes those freedoms more than theoretical. The problem is that we haven't found anything fulfilling to do with those freedoms ("the horrible confusion that until recently I selflessly took it upon myself to exemplify"). Isn't it then a cop-out to dedicate one's life to furnishing other people with these freedoms? Once you have saved the third-worlders from want and ignorance and even from their dearth of cultural capital, won't they be ushered into exactly the same depressing anomie that you were in until you set about saving them? It a piece of arrant self-delusion — self-aware self-delusion, if there can be such a thing — to say that "only when other people have the same freedom which we have devoted ourselves to squandering — only then will we really finally know what we should have done with ours in the first place". Why will transmitting your anomie to others cure it in yourself? I fear that Dwight's drunkenness during this speech has another purpose, which is to befog the serious logical problems in his worldview. I think we're supposed to react this way: "Well, I'm sure that if he were sober he would probably patch up this logical flaw in his worldview, but the cool thing is that he has a good attitude and can have a beer and laugh at the paradoxes he's fallen into, unlike his dour leftist sister."

This is not, of course, to criticize progressivism restricted to the political realm. I'm all for spreading justice and wealth. It's just that it doesn't work as the fundamental philosophy of a person's life — not even, I suspect, when it is pursued in a New York bachelor pad with a well-stocked bar and a multi-ethnic stable of girlfriends.

[Doug: 9/18/05 16:54]
 
   
Ben H and I agreed, after watching the new film of "Everything is Illuminated", that the bizarre physical appearance of the main character spoiled a lot of it. I didn't even realize that the actor was the Elf from Lord of the Rings. I thought it was Gollum. [Doug: 9/17/05 11:48]
 
 
Strange Bedfellows

I never thought the day would come when I would cheer on an idea of Hugo Chavez's. Then again, UN week does tend to lead to a lot of absurdities. In his speech to the General Assembly, the Commandante railed against the U.S. and demanded that the UN move its headquarters out of the U.S. to an "international city outside the sovereignty of any one nation", preferably someplace in the developing world. Hear him, hear him! [Ben H.: 9/16/05 17:43]
 
 
Battle Royale

U.N. Week always makes me wish my firm had chosen an office further from the Waldorf Astoria. This hotel sits at the center of the vortex of madness created by the presence of so many world leaders. For example, this year, Falun Gong protesters have staked out their position directly in front of my office building. From there, they hope to have a chance to jeer Hu Jintao as he emerges from or returns to the hotel. The rest of the day is consumed with banging on drums and blowing whistles. What joy. This afternoon, we heard a tumult that surpassed the background din of street theater. From our window we saw the Falun Gong mob surround a dark-suited Chinese diplomat and his security detail. A struggle ensued for several minutes. At a certain point, red-shirted pro-Communist protesters arrived to confront the yellow-shirted Falun Gongers. Finally, the diplo's security detail was able to break a path through the Gongers. The commie peloton made it across the street... only to run into another confrontation, this time with a Free Tibet protest! Can we at long last get the UN out of New York?!! [Ben H.: 9/13/05 19:13]
 
 
You Have Got To Be Kidding

This too neatly confirms my prejudices (and the original source is not entirely disinterested), so I will take it with a grain of salt.

To the Muslim's offended by the "exclusionary" nature of Holocaust Remembrance Day, I offer a deal. You let us kill off 80% of the Muslims in Europe and we'll rename it the more "inclusive" Genocide Day. Whaddya say? [Ben H.: 9/12/05 20:40]
 
   
The Linear Caffeine-Italic Hypothesis

Every person is born with numerical constants α and β which are fixed by his physiology and do not change over his lifetime, such that the percentage of words that he italicizes when writing equals α + β(c), where c is his blood-caffeine level. [Doug: 9/10/05 13:12]
 
 
New Orleans-Is-A-Dump Meme Taking Off!

Jack Shafer makes a pithy case against rebuilding New Orleans. The analogy we've been using around here: lancing a boil.

The city had developed a seriously dysfunctional culture. Cultures are nearly impossible to change. One way to rescue people from a dysfunctional culture is to disperse them to healthy cultures, in numbers small enough that they assimilate to the culture of their new home rather than bring their old dysfunctional culture to a new place. [Ben H.: 9/9/05 14:45]
 
 
Murder Like a Good Muslim, Die Like a Good Jain

Detainees at Guantanamo making moral progress: came in as murderers, may go out as suicides. The response to their hunger strike ought to be three simple words: Be. My. Guest. [Ben H.: 9/9/05 06:15]
 
 
Charles Murray...

... call your office! [Ben H.: 9/8/05 20:43]
 
 
Neutral Law of General Applicability

Florida Court, in shocking outburst of good sense, rules that a Muslim applicant for driving license must agree to have her picture taken with face unveiled. Maybe we should figure out how to translate "Neutral law of general applicability" into Arabic; though I suspect its legal vocabulary is limited to names of sharp-edged instruments and verbs like "stone", "crush", and "amputate." [Ben H.: 9/8/05 13:49]